I have always struggled with my self-confidence since I can remember. Being picked on in elementary school and being called “skinny bone Jones” or “Pinocchio” definitely had a toll on my early adolescent life.
Then I moved into my early adulthood I found a new confidence by joining the Navy at 18, going out on my own, and exploring the world. I was finally becoming my own person and leaving those negative thoughts about myself in the dust or so I thought.
Then life started to get more complicated…men lol. I started finally dating at age 18 and had no clue how this would change me as a person. Let’s just say after my fair share of toxic relationships and I was back to point A. Self-confidence gone, self-doubt at an all time high, and no energy to change it.
It’s amazing how 1 person can change that! Really! Think about it. One person walks into your life, quickly becomes the best thing that ever happened to you and then just as fast becomes the worst.
Well I finally said screw that and was ready to get myself back and discover who I was again as a person. I didn’t want to be defined by negative thinking and words of others. So I changed it!
Whether you’ve had toxic relationship with men (or women) that didn’t appreciate you, were picked on as a child, or even verbally abused by family members, there is still things that you can do to find your self-confidence again. It’s not a lost cause! I am now more confident than ever and have pushed myself to be a more confident and better person.
10 Ways to Boost Self-Confidence
NO. 1 RECOGNIZE YOUR NEGATIVE THINKING
First things first! You need to recognize the negative thoughts in your head. Once you recognize your negative thoughts you can then replace them with positive ones. For example I would hear from myself “You’re not smart enough to do this” or “This is too hard, you’ll never finish it.” Well that is negative self-talk at its finest and most definitely not true. So I would replace it with positive affirmations like “You are smart. If you don’t know how to do it, you’ll learn to do it” and “You are strong and can get through it one step at a time.” This is a small step to having more positive thoughts and in return boosting your self-esteem and confidence.
NO. 2 SELF CARE AND GROOMING
When is the last time you put some time & effort into your appearance and self and not felt good about it afterwards? Probably never! It’s amazing how a little makeup or me time can instantly change your mood. I know when I do my hair nicely, put on some makeup or give myself a mini pedicure it changes my mood almost instantly.
RELATED: 10 Self Love Practices
NO. 3 STAND UP TALL
Having good posture is not one of my best characteristics and I struggle everyday with this. But I notice when I walk with my head high and back strong and tall I feel better about myself. I used to walk with my head down and slouched and it made me feel exactly how it made me look. This small change makes a world of difference.
NO. 4 BE KIND TO OTHERS
This sounds a little cliché but it’s true. When you actively are kind to others it makes you feel like a good person. Say hi to people, hold doors, or offer help. These small acts of kindness really help build your self-image and confidence.
No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted. ~ Aesop
NO. 5 DRESS YOUR BEST
Having a cute outfit on always makes me feel more confident. This could be a basic outfit or something more dressed up. Wear what makes you feel good. This goes along with NO. 2. When you feel good about your appearance, you’re most often feeling comfortable in your own skin, which shines as confidence.
NO. 6 EXERCISE
One thing, endorphins! This hormone not only suppresses pain but gives you good feelings after too. This is my go to when I feel crappy. I get a good workout in and my whole mood changes. It also reduces anxiety (which I have), reduces stress, and boost self-esteem. So go take a hike and get the heart pumping. 🙂
NO. 7 STOP COMPARING YOURSELF TO OTHERS
This one is so hard to do in this social media driven generation. There are SO MANY people to compare ourselves to. I’m guilty of comparing myself to other bloggers and other women who are amazingly fit and the same age as me. We need to stop comparing ourselves. When I find myself doing this I got back to NO. 1. I recognize that these are negative thoughts and I then tell myself something positive.
NO. 8 SMILE
It’s true what they say, “you’re never fully dressed without a smile.” I get it, some days are harder than others. Especially if you’re going through some shit. But if you just try to smile through the funk, you will more than likely get a smile back and in return feel better.
NO. 9 CHANGE SMALL HABITS
Making small habit changes can be so rewarding. For me, getting up 10-15 minutes earlier for work leaves me less stressed and gives me more time to get myself together. I almost always look more presentable and put together than if I was in a rush. I’ve also started bullet journaling to help me stay on top of task. When I accomplish these tasks I feel so good about myself.
NO. 10 JUST SAY F*%K IT!
Stop caring what people think. I used to be obsessed with what people thought about me. Probably one of the insecurities I adopted from those toxic relationships I was talking about earlier. It’s so stupid lol! People are probably not even paying attention to you in the first place or worrying about the same thing. Let your worries go and be yourself. Live! The confidence that comes from letting that worry go is so worth it.
Be a flamingo in a flock of pigeons!
These are all things I’ve learned to work through and incorporate on my and I’m finally becoming confident and comfortable in my own skin! It’s been a long journey but it’s been worth it.