Well it officially will be my second year without my mom for Mother’s Day. As I wrote this post last year, I was still struggling with accepting that my mom was gone. It still felt like a really bad dream. I was bitter towards all those girls and women that could physically hug their mom’s on Mother’s Day and tell them they love them.
I would like to tell you that the pain goes away but it doesn’t. It just hurts a little less as the years go by. It’s like a wound that starts to scab and sometimes the scab comes off and it hurts like hell. Then it might scab over again and the wound heals but the scar is there forever to remind you. That’s how I feel this journey has been for me.
Fast forward to 2018 and how I’m feeling about Mother’s Day is a little different. I’m less bitter and more happy that these women can celebrate with their moms. Seeing Mother’s Day ads, posts, and gift guides still make me sad but not so sad that I cry. Things are just getting easier.
So the real question is how can we survive this day without our moms around?
Well there is no right or wrong answer for this. We all cope in our own way but these are some things that have helped me!
Recapture moments of her life
Did you mom have a favorite hike or café she loved to go? Going to her favorites spots in town or taking it outdoors and recreating photos with the same backdrop can help you feel more connected to her. This weekend I’ll be taking it to the trail because she loved being in nature and the outdoors.
Buy a blank journal and start writing down quotes that your mom used to say or things she had written down in her personal stuff. My loved to journal and would randomly write down a quote she liked or she would say something in her journal that just sticks with me. Write those things down. Her words can bring comfort when you need it the most.
Surround yourself with Family and Friends
Granted that a lot of people will be celebrating with their own mothers, find a way to surround yourself with those that don’t have mother’s nearby to celebrate with or have a family gathering. I always feel comforted being around family and friends.
This may not be for everyone (especially not for me) but some find comfort in bringing their mom flowers on Mother’s Day. Pack a lunch and sit and talk with her. Last year I visited her and saw so many people out there having picnics with the whole family. It was very comforting to see but still a very sad place for me.
Plant her favorite flower
Plant a flower or tree in her memory. This will grow into something beautiful and remind you of how special your mom is. I have a rose bush that I took from my mom’s house after she passed and every time I see it, it makes me smile.
These are just a couple of ideas on how to survive Mother’s Day without our mothers. Sit down and make a list of things she would like to do or any idea that was sparked from reading this post. If your mom was a crafter, make something. If she was a great outdoor adventurer, take a hike. The possibilities of getting through this holiday are endless.
If things are still very fresh, it’s OK to be alone, it’s OK to cry. It still happens to me, trust me. The best thing is to listen to how your feeling and do what makes you feel better.
I hope you all have a good Mother’s Day and I hope this post helps and brings you comfort.
xx // christine